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note to future self

do something similar with your future husband

http://jpegy.com/artsy/follow-me-by-murad-osmann-17815

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credibility

i love discussing relationships with ppl. i love to argue for the sake of argument. and i think everyone's opinion is worth listening to. but i find it rather silly when someone throws the phrase "i've been in many long term relationships" around like it has anything weight. like you should listen to them more bc of it. honestly, the only thing that has any weight to me is if you have been HAPPILY with your partner for DECADES, anything else is moot. to me, being in many long term relationships has no more weight than being in many short term relationships. the end result is still the same, they all still failed. the only difference btwn the two is that the many long term relationships either 1. dragged out longer than it should or 2. took them waaaay too long to figure out that they were not right for each other. so, actually, it gives me the opposite affect.

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forgotten blog

there are moments where i would be experiencing something or i'll have random thoughts in my head and i'll catch myself thinking, "i'm gonna blog about that". then the wind blows or someone calls for me and i find myself a few days or weeks later, sitting in front of my computer, on livejournal, remembering that there was something i wanted to write about but dont remember a single thing of what that might be. not even one little detail that could give me a hint to nudge my memory. i'm sure this happens to everyone, i just want to write about it to fill the empty hole of my blog which should have been about something else

i should write a note to myself. just gotta make sure that it's a note i understand. i hate it when that happens.

concidences

i'm starting to believe that there's no such thing as coincidences. i believe that everything happens for a reason and life as you have it tends to fall into place in the end. it's like watching a movie and you arent really sure what's going on while watching it but once you've reached the ending, everything ties together and it makes sense. yeah, i think life is a little bit like that.

a few weeks ago i was supposed to go to NY... however, as you know, 'Sandy' hit and even if my plane were to leave on time, there's really no point for me to be there as the subways were flooded/not working and half the city is without power. so i called my airline to cancel. my trip included a trip to NY for about a week and then from NY i fly to chicago for work for the wknd. so when i called the airline to cancelled there was a mix up and all my flights were cancelled. even the one from chicago to SF (which was unnecessary). i had to rebook another flight on another time as the one that i was originally on is no longer available.

anyway, that's the back story. why do i bring it up, you might ask? it's bc once i got on the plane, this older gentleman sat next to me. i am next to the window seat and so he had the middle seat. i am not sure what made him feel like sitting there, but he did it. immediately he started a conversation with me. no, it's not what you think. he doesnt come off sleazy or having any ulterior motive, he just seemed like a cool, out going and friendly middle aged man who likes to talk. and it would not surprise me one bit if he does this on every flight he's on. when the guy next to him over heard our conversation he jumped in on our convo too. i dozed off when that happened but in our 4-5 hrs of flight, i've learned a lot about him. he's a musician who composes music for some tv shows. he also does promotions for art galleries. he lived in SF for a few years but is now located in LA. he made it clear that LA is home and he loved it a lot. he then told me that he actually wasnt supposed to be on this flight (it was the day before) but he stayed an extra day and his wife did an amazing break down act that got him on the current flight without having to pay $400 extra hahaha

it was fun. and i felt that given the circumstances and how we're both not supposed to be on this flight... that we've met for a reason. so we've exchanged info and he emailed me the next day saying, "hi". he just told me he's planning an art event in SF. i am not sure what life has in store for me in regards to him. i am not sure what he will bring to my life. maybe i'll meet someone at his party. maybe he will introduce me to another job. or who knows? maybe it'll be as simple as that i'll take away something from his personality that would change my personality. the possibilities are endless and i'm excited to see what life has in store for me

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12 Relationship Truths...

  1. You have to love yourself first. – In order to truly have a loving, supportive, and long-lasting relationship with someone else, you need to learn how to be your own best friend first.  It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.  Read The Mastery of Love.

  2. You get what you put in. – In twelve years, people won’t remember what clothes you wore, which car you drove, and maybe not even your full name.  But in twelve years, they will remember how you made them feel and the positive memories you gave them.  The true impact you make on people will depend on the time and attention you give to teaching those who know less, caring for those who have less, supporting those who are striving, and tolerating those who are different than you.

  3. What most people think of you doesn’t matter. – You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew just how seldom they do.  No one is ever going to care about your life and the way you choose to live it more than you will.  That is a beautiful thing – never forget how beautiful.  Follow your heart, and take your brain with you every step of the way.  Get to know your true self.  When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit.

  4. Friends and family won’t always support your goals, but you must pursue them anyway. – Follow your intuition.  Following your intuition means doing what feels right, even if it doesn’t look or sound right to others.  Only time will tell, but our human instincts are rarely ever wrong.  So don’t worry about what everyone else thinks; keep living and speaking your truth.  The only people that will get mad at you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.  Read The Art of Non-Conformity.

  5. Life doesn’t always change as fast as people do. – Learn to accept that not everyone is who you once knew.  And realize that sometimes it’s not the person you miss, it’s the feeling you had when you were with them.

  6. Some people are meant to stay in your heart, but not in your life. – If you’re having a tough time letting go of someone who left you, realize that if they wanted to stay they would still be there.  Sometimes you have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next.  It sucks when you know that you need to let go, but you can’t because you’re still hoping for the impossible to happen.  Yes, it will hurt for awhile, but you have to forget about the person who forgot about you, and move on.

  7. Everyone has baggage, just like you. – The minute someone decides to walk out of your life, that is the same moment in which the opportunity and space opens up for someone who actually deserves your love to finally walk in.  Remember, everyone has baggage, so don’t be ashamed of yours.  Be patient and find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

  8. Love doesn’t hurt.  Love is not the problem. – Don’t blame love if a failed relationship interfered with your other important relationships, or robbed you of your self-esteem and personal freedoms.  No, don’t blame love.  For it wasn’t love that stole from you.  It was possession.  It was obsession.  It was manipulation.  It was confusion.  Love had nothing to do with your situation.  For love doesn’t close the door against all that is good.  It opens it wide to let more goodness in.  Love creates freedom and abundance.  Read The 5 Love Languages.

  9. Forgiveness is always the right choice. – Anyone can hold a grudge, but it takes a person with strong character to forgive.  When you forgive, you release yourself from a painful burden.  And no, forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was OK; and it doesn’t mean that person should still be welcome in your life.  It simply means you have made peace with the pain, and are ready to let it go and move on with your life.

  10. Love requires three things: acceptance, honesty, and commitment. – Love comes when you care more about who the other person really is, rather than about who you think they should become.  It’s about daring to reveal yourself honestly, and daring to be open and vulnerable over the long-term.  It’s about sticking by each other’s side through thick and thin, and truly being there in the flesh and spirit when you’re needed most.  Remember, the most romantic love story is not Romeo and Juliet who died young together; it’s the story of grandma and grandpa who helped each other through life, and grew old together.

  11. A big part of who you become is who you choose to surround yourself with. – Fate controls who walks into your life, but you decide who you let walk out, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.  Surround yourself with people who make you a better person, and let go of those who don’t.

  12. A soul mate is a person who brings out the best in you. – They are far from perfect, but they are a perfect fit for you.  Remember, every relationship has its problems, but what makes it perfect is when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, even when times are tough.

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diet

a few weeks ago i went to the doctors to get my annual check up. they weigh me per usual and i realized i'm the heaviest i've ever been! i mean i've noticed that i've put on some weight but i guess it's another thing when you put a number on it. for a while now, my weight remained pretty consistent within a range but now it's way over. so i decided to go on a diet: to eat less, dont give into junk food cravings, and exercise more.

i find it interesting that when ppl hear that i'm on a diet, they go "you dont need to go on a diet! you're so skinny already!". i find it silly bc have they ever thought that maybe, just maybe, the reason why i am "skinny" is bc i care about my weight? i take care of it before it gets too bad. so yes, i do need to go on a diet bc i want to stay skinny! thank you very much!

just a rant

i know the ppl i talk to dont have ill intentions. and it is not how it sounds. but sometimes i dont think ppl stop and think about what they say before they say it. i'm sure i do this too but this is just a rant so run with me here lol if i told you that we've broken up, unless i tell you why right after, dont ask why. bc i dont want to tell you. someone said to me after hearing that "that didnt last long" :/ really?

then i get asked this a lot: "why do you only date white guys?" or "do you only like white guys?" i think that's super weird. like if i only date chinese guys, NO ONE would ask me "why do you only date chinese guys?" i'm sure my chinese girl friends who only date chinese guys dont get asked that question. but since i'm chinese and the last few guys i dated are white, everyone asks me that whenever i get into a new relationship and the guy is white. 1. i've dated other races before. 2. i dont see what the big deal is about his race. and 3. why does it even matter, especially to you?!?!

/rant

confused

today one of our clients (who's openly gay/lesbian) got an email from a fan. the fan, who is also a lesbian, wrote a semi long story about how she went to see said artist a couple of times with her then gf/now ex. then mentioned how she only seems to attract straight women. LOL

is anyone else confused?

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USPS customer service

called usps customer service today for work. was having issues with their shipping program for business. while the customer service guy was fixing the issue, there was a somewhat long and almost awkward silence on the phone as i waited for him. i can hear him typing away and i sat there wondering if he hears my breathing bc my nose is a bit congested. so to break the silence i decided to start small talk with him. i asked him where they were located as out of everything that i could ask, that is seriously the only question that peaked my interest. his answer? "somewhere in the east coast, i cant give you the exact location for security reasons"

...... wut.

i'm sitting there wondering, who would bother to attack the USPS customer service location... and WHY. lol crazy angry USPS haters. that's who lol

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don't make an ass out of you and me

hello hello. i know i havent been updating here often but i feel like i should at least update this once in a blue moon. if you're reading this still, say "hi" so i know someone is out there haha also, i know i have been slacking on my daily blog on tumblr (almost a year behind!). that will pick up soon! i promise! so check it!

anyway, i had a point to this post haha today on fb someone uploaded an album called "the big wedding adventure." there are pics of her in a wedding dress and random pics of what seems like wedding planning things. normally, you would assume she's getting married and would congratulate her... but no... not for me... as a cosplayer (which we both are), it may not be the case. and since all the caption is in a language i cant read, i cant really tell if she really is getting married or if she's getting a costume ready hahahahaha

oh my life is so funny sometimes. what seems to be obvious in someone else's world may not be the case in my world. no big deal though, we've only really met once and she lives out of the country. but just thought i'll share this thought process with you.

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