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no sex tonight

so, </a></b></a>jonathan signed on and send me this link.

it's pretty funny. if you're too lazy to click on the link....

No Sex Tonight

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
_catrina
Mar. 4th, 2005 09:08 pm (UTC)
hahahahaha

They're perfect for each other.
garfpooky
Mar. 5th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC)
oh man...that's messed up! :P
arnogseel
Mar. 5th, 2005 01:12 am (UTC)
i guess he's just trying to show her how he feels LOL
garfpooky
Mar. 5th, 2005 01:17 am (UTC)
i'm surprised any guy lived to write that...cuz I woulda thot the girl woulda killed him...haha :D

no one messes with SHOPPING...hehehehe :)
arnogseel
Mar. 5th, 2005 01:26 am (UTC)
yeah i think he's gonna have to buy all those thigns to make it up LOL for her to have sex with him again LOL
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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hug me and dont let go
arnogseel
hold me and don't let go

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