February 5th, 2003

hug me and dont let go


today as i was watching buffy and smallville... a lot of commercials, of course, came up. and everything that showed was appealing to me! it's like "ohhhh i wanna watch that movie." "ohhhh that looks good i wanna eat that!" damn..

that's why i dont watch tv anymore lol

but anyway, i am usually not a smallville fan. i know a lot of ppl are, but i watched it like once and i havent since... i think i was pointed out (and sorta reminded) today why i didnt. i only watched it again today was because a number of ppl happened to gave positive feedback when the word "smallville" came up. so... i watched it again today.

i know that most ppl that i know wouldnt agree... because they look nothing alike... but i swear to you that clark HELLA reminded me of philip. enormously. like every 30 seconds i looked at clark... "wtf? philip?" i think it's because of the expressions that clark makes/made... philip did it very often when we dated. he was actually asked once if he was an actor. he claimed that it must've been the expressions he've always made.

so when i watched smallville and clark came up, it gave me these weird feelings. i cant really call them bad.... but i dont think it's good either. these feelings dont make me sad... but i dont believe it made me miss him either. i just... dont like it very much... it's WEIRD.

heh it's been a while. not like missing him meant that i still like him but the thing is i dont miss him... i mean i did have fun with him and all... but yeah, it was just fun...

sometimes tho, i do look at the area where he usually parked his bike when the bus passes. (he bikes/biked to school) just to see if he's at school. (i havent seen it yet.) but i probably wont call out to him if i saw him one day and he didnt see me... it's sorta doesnt matter.

btw, is it me or does it seem like A LOT happens at once on smallville? like a lot happens on buffy too... but why does it seem like smallville is overwhelming to watch?? is it "philip"? hahahah

no more smallville for me