hold me and don't let go (arnogseel) wrote,
hold me and don't let go
arnogseel

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jen's aim profile

so jen was away and i went to check her away message, this is what she has. keep in mind she's a psychologist :P

I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalites, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.


then she changed everything in her profile with quotes and i thought it was funny...

_________________

I think of class as nap time with background noise.

some amusing quotes i read:
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." --Drew Carey

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?" --Marilyn Pittman

"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same." --Oscar Wilde

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." --Billy Crystal

"Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because " Mad Cow Disease" was taken." --Unknown, presumed deceased

"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help." --Ronald Reagan

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." --Author Unknown
Tags: funny, quotes
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