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fuzzy line: cheating?

so recently my coworker got into grey's anatomy. now i dont watch that show (it's on the same time as CSI!) but she was telling me bits and pieces of it. how the main character (derek?) was on a break with his wife and during that break, he had a one night stand. now my coworker and i both agreed that it is still cheating even tho they were "on a break" because "on a break" still means they were together.

but what i wonder is... do you have the right to be AS mad at the person... just as much as if they cheated on you when you werent on a break?

this just sorta reminds me of that argument that rachel and ross had.

1. would you consider it cheating if you were on a break?
(and what i'm really curious about...)
2. if you do consider it to be cheating, can you place it on the same level as cheating (w/no breaks involve)? or is it slightly more forgivable?



( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 26th, 2006 08:31 pm (UTC)
In my opinion IF the answer to the first question is "yes it is cheating" then the answer to the second HAS to be "cheating is cheating is cheating - there is no different in level" - the answer to the forgivability issue is "depending on who you are talking to..."

still thinking what my answer to question 1 would be...
Sep. 26th, 2006 08:34 pm (UTC)
haha i'm opposite of you. i believe it's cheating, no doubt. but i wonder if it's the same level as "regular" cheating or what.

but i am leaning more towards cheating is cheating no matter what.

you dont agree that when you're "on a break" you're still in the relationship? to me a break has always been time away not time off. lol it's when you broke UP that's official off, you know?
Sep. 26th, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC)
i never give an answer to 1....
Sep. 26th, 2006 09:03 pm (UTC)
Re: huh?
i know.

since you arent sure about your answer for #1, i assumed it means you dont lean towards one way or another. so i was just discussing it with you.
Sep. 26th, 2006 09:04 pm (UTC)
Re: huh?
no, i was leaning against ur answer...but i was thinking for the other side to see if there is any exception...
Sep. 26th, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC)
Re: huh?
OHHHH okay. haha i didnt know.

did you figure out any exceptions?
Sep. 27th, 2006 12:16 am (UTC)
You know, by the end of "Friends," I sided with Ross, but maybe it's b/c I had "We were on a break!!" drilled into my head that I ended up agreeing with him, lol But like you said, a break technically means you're still in the relationship. Just b/c you can't commit to an actual break-up, doesn't mean you should start acting like it. :P I mean, the minute you're on a break, you run to someone else?? I dunno, still sounds bad to me... The problem isn't WHEN the cheating occurs...it's that cheating HAS occured.

Anyway, my 2 cents. :)
Sep. 27th, 2006 12:19 am (UTC)
i totally agree with you.

what about the second question? do you find it more forgivable if he/she cheated during a break? or do you agree with cheating is cheating is cheating (they're all the same)?
Sep. 27th, 2006 01:12 am (UTC)
i think it's the same. if you want to explore, have the decency to let the other person know ahead of time.
Sep. 27th, 2006 01:21 am (UTC)
i agree! but then i hate those who say they want to explore then come crawling back...but not b/c they still want to be w/ their ex but b/c they got rejected...

Sep. 27th, 2006 07:36 pm (UTC)
that's pretty sad.

for me, if a relationship ends, it stays that way.
Sep. 29th, 2006 02:41 am (UTC)
yeah, those people suck. and the other person shouldn't give them the satisfaction of taking them back!
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 27th, 2006 07:31 pm (UTC)
Re: Cheating!!!
sorry to hear :\

i agree with you
Sep. 27th, 2006 05:50 am (UTC)
Well.. since the reason for the break is because Addison (Derek's wife) cheated on Derek, I think it's only "fair" that Derek have his fun too. HOWEVER, if one or both parties is/are going to cheat, just end the damn relationship. Trust has been broken. It'll be difficult to mend. End the dang thing and move on. So what if you've already spent like 5 years together? Do you want to WASTE another 5 in a doomed relationship? So, 1. In my current frame of mind, no, I would not cheat if I was on a break. I'd move on. 2. I agree with Garpooky.. if you really feel the urge to have sex with someone else during the break, it would probably be good to discuss it with your S.O., just so everyone is on the same page, and there will be no 'Ross and Rachel' incident. If you feel compelled to cheat, just move the heck on. Don't hurt your S.O. like that.
Sep. 27th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
yeah i agree! if you're gonna cheat, just end it.

i'm sure ppl will say "that's easier said than done" but i just think that's an excuse they make. they're jsut cowards for not breaking up with the person they are cheating on.

or/and they want their cake and eat it too. basically they dont like the person that they are cheating with that much.

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )


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